Post by Chad Manning on Dec 18, 2006 8:58:56 GMT -5
This is how the investigation might go...
T'was the night before Christmas (12:01 A.M. 12/25)
and all through the house (single family, joisted masonry, EC3, Territory 44, PC 5).
Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse (vermin exclusion applies.)
The (flame retardant) stockings were hung by the (contractor installed) chimney with care
in hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be there (in spite of dead-bolt locks central station alarm system, fenced & lighted yard).
The children (ages 4,8,14 & 16) were all nestled snug in their beds (check MVR on 16 year old)
While visions of sugar plums danced in their heads (also check for drug use.)
Mama in her kerchief (a scheduled heirloom) and I in my cap
had just settled down for a long winters nap (disability claim? insured sleeping all day?)
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter (check into condition of premises, housekeeping etc),
I jumped out of bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the shutters (intentional destructive act - no coverage)
and threw up the sash (As far as we know, insured only wearing a cap in front of uncovered window - criminal intentional act - no coverage)
What to my wondering eyes should appear
But a miniature sleigh and 8 tiny reindeer (note to check if sleigh rated business use and corporate owned, verify rated "long haul").
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick (verify coverage for 600 year old driver; notify life underwriter for possible rating).
More rapid than eagles (check MVR for s! peeding violations)
his coursers they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name (possible aggressive driver?):
Now Dasher (turbo equipped?) now Dancer (classic?) now Prancer (check lifestyle) now Vixen (definitely check lifestyle),
On Comet (possible muscle deer) on Cupid (lifestyle again) on Donner (4x4) and Blitzen (possible DUI problem?)
To the top of the porch to the top of the wall (check for structural damage also look into height exposures and required railings),
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all. (also old man climbing walls either in great shape or overly medicated?)
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew (aircraft products & grounding exclusion),
with the sleigh full of toys
and St. Nicholas too (hazardous activity - consider key-man life policy).
And then, in a twinkling,
I heard on the roof
the prancing and pawing of each little hoof (check for shingle damage; also classification of operations, roofing is a prohibited class).
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound (soot scrubbed by Santa suit, chimney annual servicing requirement is fulfilled).
He was dressed all in fur (scheduled items)
from his head to his foot
and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot (not a named peril)
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back (Check to see if insured has safety committee, check lifting training)
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes how they twinkled,
His dimples how merry,
His cheeks were like roses,
His nose like cherry (suspected DUI issues from commiserating with Blitzen).
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth (tobacco user - surcharge premium)
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath (check batteries in smoke alarms to make sure operational).
He was chubby and plump,
a right jolly old elf (overweight for height)
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread (stranger enters home without triggering alarm and insured not worried?? Possible moral exposure).
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk (review workplace for ergonomic compliance).
And laying his finger aside of his nose (obscene gesture/road rage?)
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh,
to his team gave a whistle,
and away they all flew like the down of a thistle (not likely with fat man and sleigh full of toys. Check GVW for proper classification, Light/Service/Local seems unlikely).
But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" (Check hours of operation, 24 hour service operations prohibited. Also check into seasonal nature of business).
T'was the night before Christmas (12:01 A.M. 12/25)
and all through the house (single family, joisted masonry, EC3, Territory 44, PC 5).
Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse (vermin exclusion applies.)
The (flame retardant) stockings were hung by the (contractor installed) chimney with care
in hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be there (in spite of dead-bolt locks central station alarm system, fenced & lighted yard).
The children (ages 4,8,14 & 16) were all nestled snug in their beds (check MVR on 16 year old)
While visions of sugar plums danced in their heads (also check for drug use.)
Mama in her kerchief (a scheduled heirloom) and I in my cap
had just settled down for a long winters nap (disability claim? insured sleeping all day?)
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter (check into condition of premises, housekeeping etc),
I jumped out of bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the shutters (intentional destructive act - no coverage)
and threw up the sash (As far as we know, insured only wearing a cap in front of uncovered window - criminal intentional act - no coverage)
What to my wondering eyes should appear
But a miniature sleigh and 8 tiny reindeer (note to check if sleigh rated business use and corporate owned, verify rated "long haul").
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick (verify coverage for 600 year old driver; notify life underwriter for possible rating).
More rapid than eagles (check MVR for s! peeding violations)
his coursers they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name (possible aggressive driver?):
Now Dasher (turbo equipped?) now Dancer (classic?) now Prancer (check lifestyle) now Vixen (definitely check lifestyle),
On Comet (possible muscle deer) on Cupid (lifestyle again) on Donner (4x4) and Blitzen (possible DUI problem?)
To the top of the porch to the top of the wall (check for structural damage also look into height exposures and required railings),
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all. (also old man climbing walls either in great shape or overly medicated?)
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew (aircraft products & grounding exclusion),
with the sleigh full of toys
and St. Nicholas too (hazardous activity - consider key-man life policy).
And then, in a twinkling,
I heard on the roof
the prancing and pawing of each little hoof (check for shingle damage; also classification of operations, roofing is a prohibited class).
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound (soot scrubbed by Santa suit, chimney annual servicing requirement is fulfilled).
He was dressed all in fur (scheduled items)
from his head to his foot
and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot (not a named peril)
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back (Check to see if insured has safety committee, check lifting training)
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes how they twinkled,
His dimples how merry,
His cheeks were like roses,
His nose like cherry (suspected DUI issues from commiserating with Blitzen).
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth (tobacco user - surcharge premium)
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath (check batteries in smoke alarms to make sure operational).
He was chubby and plump,
a right jolly old elf (overweight for height)
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread (stranger enters home without triggering alarm and insured not worried?? Possible moral exposure).
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk (review workplace for ergonomic compliance).
And laying his finger aside of his nose (obscene gesture/road rage?)
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh,
to his team gave a whistle,
and away they all flew like the down of a thistle (not likely with fat man and sleigh full of toys. Check GVW for proper classification, Light/Service/Local seems unlikely).
But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" (Check hours of operation, 24 hour service operations prohibited. Also check into seasonal nature of business).
